Trapped on a road trip

Things I Hate About My Sister

- Can’t trust her not to flip out at random jokes, comments or logistical snafus.

- Terrible Condescension
- Know it all, with no open-ness to contradiction
- is now a nurse so she’s an expert on ALL public/private health considerations, despite only having been a nurse for a year.
- Random whistling and singing to herself while others are already mad at her.
or: Pretending nothing is the matter when a lot of stuff is the matter
- Doesn’t seem to notice when no one is speaking to her.

- Screaming horrible mean and irrational junk and not stopping in public, no matter what you say. If she angers you while she’s screaming, and you fight back, then the fight will never end until you give in. She will never give in.

- interrupts you while you’re speaking – sometimes for extremely petty things.
- can’t abide by interruptions of her speaking – will scream at you sometimes if you do.
- if there is something that happens while she is in the middle of something, then she will not abide by any interruptions of her activity. Instead she will make everyone wait until she is done before acknowledging the new stimuli. she will talk over or ignore people to accomplish this. this is true even if the new stimuli is exceptional and her activity is mundane.

- takes twice or three times as long to do something than most folks
- including giving way too much detail to tell you logistical things that should be quick and to the point.
- including taking forever to get ready when people are waiting for her, sometimes up to an hour longer than everyone else.
- including talking to clerks/waitresses/salespeople and making great friends with them while her party waits for her to finish. even if there is a deadline or time limitation.
- including making up new and various chores/needs/desires during any small errand, so that even the simplest trip takes several hours.

- is profoundly cheap, even though she makes a decent wage and has a major inheritance. Will complain incessantly about high prices and will shop at the grocery store while on vacation in order to avoid “overpriced” meals. Will check the prices and bargain hunt when dealing with one-of-a-kind experiences like riding a ferry in a new city. Will expect everyone else to understand the cheap factor, and if they don’t, she will be shocked and offended.

- will not drink from a cup or bottle I’ve drank from, based on fear of germs. I am not sick and am not diseased.
- will not listen to advice, and will not taste someone else’s meal or drink.
- will be very angry if you make an honest mistake that minor-ly inconveniences her- no matter how you protest that it wasn’t on purpose.
- will be very angry if you’re not in the exact place you said you would be in a public place. Is convinced you are missing from where you said you would be to fuck with her mind.

- gives advice on subjects that most people already are experts on, and takes offense if you point that out.
- might take offense at any given thing, often at jokes.
- asks nicely for things and if you don’t or won’t give in to whatever it is, will likely scream at you.
- doesn’t seem to hear you if you say something that doesn’t fit into her plan, and will barrel forward. when you tell her later that you didn’t want to do whatever, she gets mad at you.

- sugary fake sweet to old people, dogs and children
- crosses boundary lines all the time, like touching people who don’t like to be touched, or loudly interrupting then correcting people she’s just met or doesn’t know well … often about petty things like  who spoke first or spelling errors. sometimes she inappropriately chides people and accuses them of preposterous things like saying  “you knew you were wrong, just admit it”

- makes broad sweeping comments about “trends” she’s noticing…. when she’s been in a city for less than an hour and about 20 blocks.

THIS ONE IS PETTY AND I KNOW IT
- has an exceptionally boring, almost profoundly boring sensibility. Will wear beige on beige, will hang only art that’s been given to her on walls painted landlord white, wears shoes she bought in the early 90’s and refuses to shoe shop, and does not want to try new food.